.

.

Macadamia.Macaroni.Macaroon.

All of those those things have been tantalizing me today because I didn’t have the chance to put food in my belly until 8 PM… and that’s why I just bought $20 worth of sweets at au bon pain just now. What is my problem? I don’t know, but I plan to give half of it away anyways. But as for now, I’m all satisfied with my little chocolate dipped cranberry almond macaroon :).

Today I woke up at 6:30 AM to register for classes. Brutal. All in all, I didn’t get the one class that I really wanted, and I got a shitty time for another class (7:00PM- 9:40PM). I have another class from 12PM- 5PM right before that… now that’s some bullshit. However, it was MUCH better than the last registration time where I only got one class I wanted because I was lazy and slept in.

Right now, I am seriously procrastinating and surprisingly enough, I am proud to say that this is one of the few times I have done this this entire school year. I think it’s just the last stretch before break and I just can’t do it. No, I just don’t want to do it. I’ve been working for way too long. I literally lock myself in my room or the library all week between classes and whatnot so I can do work, and thank god it’s paying off or I would’ve given up a long time ago… like I did at MA. Boy was that bad haha. I only have 2 more major assignments to go, so why are they not going?! AHHH. I just want home and the comfort of my stupid rock hard bed.

I did a make up lab today just so I can have all my commitments done by this weekend and head home early. I mean, I still will be missing four classes, but three of those four I rarely go to anyhow, so I’m in good standing. While I was cleaning up my lab station, I broke a few glass things :l.

What I’m dreading is having to do work during break. So far, I have a test, a final and a 6 page paper due the week I get back. Holy moles!! BOO. Matthew told me to just write what is happening in my life these days.. but things are pretty boring. I’m just waiting for something better to come along, really. What if it never comes? That’s sad. That sucks!

A little tidbit about me: I get really, really nervous when I have to open plastic shopping bags because I have such difficulty opening them, so I hold up the line and then I think people think I’m retarded because if I saw someone who took 5 minutes to open a plastic bag, I’d think he’s retarded. Moral of the story: I struggle with plastic bags everyday. and it sucks.

Apologies for the lack of visuals.

Su

“Yeah You Know I Bleed Blue..”

#27. Yup!

-Su&Tra

Photographic Memory

are you saying that we are sasquatch thangs matthew.

i like it.

So I was looking through some photobooth pictures and what I realized was that with every set of pictures, there’s a feeling or memory attached. I would like to share hehe:

Mid September 2009: I got a boo boo on my nose the first couple of weeks here. It was embarrassing, but who cares. This reminds me of the weird awkwardness of the beginning of school… that is even more awkward now.

September 4 2009: My yummy ice cream birthday cupcakes! My aunt and cousin and uncle came down for a visit that ONE day just to have lunch with me. How crazy. I loved it! I gave three of these away because I knew I would’ve felt guilty if I ate them all.

August 2009: I’m sure you remember this hehe.

Summer time 2009: Getting ready for festivities.

Summer time 2009: Dying in the heat on Kiawah Island. Tanness and really warm water 😦 Come backkkkk!

May 2009: End of school is nearing. That day was ESPECIALLY hot. I miss my old room with my old roomie 😦

Sometime in the Spring semester 2009: Chillin in Ms. Wade’s class because I wasn’t on projects. Hell yeahhhh! hahah that lady is my god.

Fall Semester 2008: Friends leaving a bunch of cute random pics on my photobooth// My room with my most dirty roomie 🙂

Winter 2008 or 2009: Chatting with Briteber very late at night and being weird with my chinface. I remember I didn’t go to sleep that night and passed out that morning and didn’t go to class… oops.

Dunno when: At home. Photo chatting with Scott, Dowton, and Addison. Mulan!

Around Halloween 2008: Being attacked by Oscar in Cox.

October 2008: Playing with David in Cox… the library was never for working.

Hehe. (THIS IS NOT ME, just to clarify).

Matthew hates this… hahaha but that used to be a Hathaway girl face.

Fall 2008: Bothering Amanda in the Hway dining room. Was the cereal still out at this time? hmm.. bagels and eggs and shit certainly were.

Fall 2008: “Working” in the dining room. I was going to get a tattoo of this… wonder what I would’ve thought of it now if I had. haha I still love it.

Mm…

Halloween 2008: I love these. Before Goodwin Open House.

September 2008: The beginning of the end of one of the best years of my life.

These are just from photobooth and I don’t use it too often… just imagine how long this would’ve been if I had pulled out the real albums hahaha. I miss the high school still, yes. Sigh. Those memories will never die, but I have moved on. I’m not a Massimo anymore. I’d just like to acknowledge the fact that these memories were more than I could ever ask for, and even though I still remember how much hate there was senior year (towards the school itself, not the people), I would never do it over if I had the chance.

A little tidbit about me: I love cheesiness!!! Can’t you tell?

October 2009: Blurred, uniform weekends. Su

Look What I Found..

I was walking through the WZBC Radio Station and saw this poster on the wall, I won’t claim to know what it means at all, but it has the best word ever on it so I figured it was worth sharing with you guys.

If you ever see something with the word “Sutra” on it, it would be cool if you snapped a picture and sent it to us! I doubt that will ever happen haha.

-Tra

Guess What I Did?

I’m gonna be Michael Jordan this weekend, this was the first step.

(shouts to my roommate Ben in the background.)

HAPPY (almost) HALLOWEEN BITCHES

-Tra

My Partner

(written at 5am on the 26th)

I would like to dedicate this post to my lovely partner, Matthew. Let me just say that I’ve been sitting on my bed for the past 13 hours or so, trying to start my work. This hasn’t happened to me since boarding school days. However, Matthew came online and started talking to me and I magically started to work. I am now proud to say I have finished one assignment… but still have to start studying for my stat midterm, yikes. So, thank you Matthew for being my little taser that busted through my door. Hehe.

My dear Matthew and I haven’t even been friends for a year (although we’ve been around each other for 2 years now), but it feels like it’s been quite a while. The first time you ever meet Matthew, you automatically know that he has been a badass ever since he was born. I remember the first time I met him. Well no, not exactly, but I remember that he had such strong personality that I was kind of intimidated. He’s one of those people that you meet who are confident, passionate, and opinionated (in a good way) and you just can’t help but admire them. So of course, I automatically shut up during our first few encounters because I was afraid he would spring some crazy overwhelming question about some topic I knew nothing about such as politics or the news or hip hop or books or men’s clothing, etc. Man, every time he spoke, it was memorable whether it was his stand-up act at beatnick or all his contributions during senior transitions/ daily conversation or his unbelievable valedictorian speech. I admit it, I was scared.

but then I saw this picture.

but not really (I only discovered this fantastic picture this past summer). A magical thing happened and my baby Emsta and Matthew became really good friends and so he was around me a lot more. Still, I felt awkward cuz I’m retarded. I don’t exactly know when we just became comfortable with each other, but I feel as though it just happened overnight and I loved it!

Unfortunately, by that point, our high school careers were about to end and I honestly thought that our new friendship was just going to be short-lived. I was wrong, thank the lord! I don’t like to think that Sutra has brought us closer together, but I guess it did. I loved all the adventures we had during the summer and just documenting our lives together. Hehe, now you are forever linked to me Matthew (not creepy).

Even with all this time we’ve spent together, I find it appalling that we only have two pictures of just us together… one of them being this lovely candid:

I am so lucky to have found such a good friend. I don’t know how but he deals with my crazy rants about random shit and all my.. weird stuff. I don’t even know how to explain. I remember, though, that he said that I am “the weirdest person ever.” Sucks, dude.

Also, please take note of the differences in our posts. I can’t even write anything remotely close in quality to Matthew’s posts. Jesus Christ, I fell in love with his previous post because that’s exactly how I feel now about my family, except I just don’t have Matthew’s eloquence or potency. I would’ve said something along the lines of… “Family was a weird thing that just came about at the end of summer and now I always have urges to go home. Weird!”

I can literally go on and on about Matthew Trammell… and I should but I am sick and about to pass out on this computer. 😦 All you need to know is that he’s such an amazing person and friend… even when he yells at me for being retarded. I actually really appreciate those times, though. I luhhhv you Matthang.

Here’s the other picture we have together…uhh… Su

“Cuz We Ain’t Lettin’ Everybody In Our…

…Family Business.” -Kanye West (Pre TaylorSwift-Gate)

This weekend I spontaneously went home. I had semi sorta kinda planned to, but made the final decision to this past Thursday when I secured my spot on the classic, almost cliche Fung Wah Bus. Many different factors brought me back: the fact that I didn’t go home over the long weekend that every one else did a couple weeks ago, that my workload was kind of light (not really), that one of my biffles/one of our loyal readers was leaving Hicksville, USA and visiting Columbia, and most pressing, that I missed the shit out of my family.

It turned out to be the best weekend I could possibly come home. My brother happened to be here with my niece when I got home, who is actually old enough (6 years old) to remember me now and was ecstatic to see me when I walked in. I got to go see my cousins, including my older cousin (mom’s side) and his not-so-newborn son (4 y.o) who I hadn’t seen since he was small enough to be carried around the house like a sack of potatoes (which his father did with little regard for his well-being). And finally, tonight I partied with my Auntie and other cousins (dad’s side) in honor of my cousin’s marriage (yesterday!), and even got to say a little something before the newlywed couple cut the cake. (I hope you guys could keep up with that, I have a big family that seems to just be getting bigger every year, there are 2 more swollen tummies walking around as I type this).

This year I’ve gained a newfound value in my family. As I’ve mentioned before on SuTra, going away at such a young age was kind of like starting a marathon without realizing I was running, and now I’m opening my eyes and seeing that I’m sprinting away from shit I didn’t really think I could ever lose. So I made it a point to take the train all the way to the Bronx today to sit in my cousin’s apartment and listen to music and play Madden and 2k10, shit that I could have very well did in Brooklyn/shit that I do every day at school, just so that I could see him and hear his voice (no homo), and think about all the things he’s taught me, and all the silly inexplicable stuff we all used to do when we were younger. I made an effort to get to see the next generation in my family, to look at my baby cousin and my niece and try to remember what I was like at their age, and imagine them years from now remembering me visiting and playing with them the way I vaguely remember distant older relatives coming to visit me and expecting my affection instantly even though I had no idea who they were.

Before I left the apartment I looked at my cousin’s son (the 4 y.o) and said “I’m leaving now, but don’t forget me. Promise. I go to school very far away so you won’t see me for a while, but I will be back. Don’t forget me, okay?” And he looked up at me quietly, nodding his head and focusing on my face as if he were truly in his little mind trying to get a distinct imprint of what I looked like and who I was. Somehow he knew that I was someone he should remember (I actually just recounted this experience to my mother on the phone and started crying haha, what a faggot I am).

My (other) cousin’s wedding reception was amazing, and really showed me the power of family. I had never been to a wedding or wedding reception or anything like that before, and so when people spoke of families joining together it was the first time the idea became a tangible experience and, now, a memory for me. I looked around at a living room full of Irvings and Browns and Jeans and (newly added) Mons, all together because somewhere along the line two people decided that they loved each other enough to become family and mash all their relatives together. The love that brought them together was literally the anchor that held a room full of former strangers’ hearts together in unison. We all loved each other because we all knew how much our bride and groom loved each other. When asked to speak during the toast, I said how blessed I felt to be able to see another layer of my family come into existence.

Family has, I now realize, become my therapy. I feel more cleansed and at peace than I have felt in a long time having gotten to see everyone this weekend, and for the first time in recent memory I sincerely feel like I know, or remember, exactly who and what I am. I see what led me to adolescence, what led me to college, and what will lead me to my future, this incredible base of people and experience and locations that I have floating around inside me constantly. This weekend they all got dusted off, and I needed it more than I realized I did. Everyone always says that I have changed, that I look so much older, but everyone else always looks exactly how I remember them. It’s almost like the dreaded “Milton” bubble, but in the most spectacular of opposite ways. I always can trust that no matter what, my family bubble will always be the same, will hold the same voices and walls and foods and laughs and accents and jokes and smells that it did when I was too young to even register them all. I can escape to my family from the real world, and they’ll always be there to provide shelter. It’s something that I’ve taken for granted, and I’m so thankful that this weekend showed me I can’t afford to take it all for granted anymore.

PHEW, that was heavy. Here’s something funny.

hahahahahhahahaha

-Tra

Truths

What is your idea of perfect happiness? 1) Being with my best friends on a day where there’s no tomorrow to worry about and the biggest dilemma we have is choosing the type of food to eat or which movie to watch. 2) Being with my family during the holidays, on the verge of puking from the horrendous amount of food consumed, but we are all nevertheless perfectly content, warm and happy.

What is your greatest fear? I fear that one day I will get to some point where I discover that I’m not good enough and ultimately disappoint my family.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? As of right now, my lack of aggression and my aimless ambition.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Stupidity driven by laziness & selfishness.

What is your greatest extravagance? Clothes & Dinners.

What is your current state of mind? Overwhelmingly sleepy with a hint of stress.

On what occasion do you lie? When I need to save my own ass or when the truth will further complicate the current situation, but never to my loves.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? My knees? My arms? My knees and my arms?

Do you believe in love at first sight? Damn, I’d be in love with a lot of people right now if that were true.

Do you believe in soul mates? No, but I believe that someone can become your soul mate.

Which living person do you most despise? I don’t really ever hate people… except for Krazy… hahahaha.

What is the quality you most like in a man? Wit & humor & faithfulness & height.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Confidence.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? What the hecks!!

Which talent would you most like to have? Singing or maybe even dancing

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Getting to where I am today, I guess.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? I would definitely come back as an overly pampered kitten and just chill all day, everyday, sippin’ on my lactaid.

Where would you like to live? New York City & perhaps Crete or Austrailia or maybe California.

What is your most treasured possession? My future.

What do you most value in your friends? Their comfort and their support.

Who are your favorite writers? Chuck Palahniuk & Kurt Vonnegut.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Legolas Greenleaf… mmm.

What is it that you most dislike? Disrespect & uncontrollable jealousy & complainers & people who cannot do things for themselves & CILANTRO!! yuck.

What is your motto? If it will not matter in your future, why waste time and worry about it now?

Su

Party, Party, Party, Let’s All Get…

…Wasted! – Gucci Mane*

Tra here. I don’t know how we haven’t touched on this topic yet, but one of the most key factors in the college experience is raging. And seeing as how I’ve been here for a whopping 47 days (damn it’s really been that long), I think I’m pretty qualified to say what is crucial to college and what is negligible (like sleep).

I think our obsession with partying comes from this disbelief that this part of our lives has actually come. I find myself waiting for the weekend to come around solely to further strain my body’s minuscule supply of energy chasing bashes and dancing until the AM, just to prove to myself that I’m actually in college (as if the 100 page reading assignments and rampant Cs aren’t proof enough). With the Billboard Top 10 providing the narrative soundtrack (see: “Shots”, “I Got A Feelin”, hell, even “Party In the USA”), I gyrate, skip and sway till the wee hours of the morning, occasionally throwing ping pong balls into plastic cups, and leave sweaty, drink stained, and extremely vailidated.

I’ve recently DJ’d a few parties, which allows/requires one to be as much of a fly on the wall as possible in the midst of mass chaos. The DJ pretty much must be invisible, and at the same time lead the emotions and experiences of a room, hall, or house full of people. And a huge amount of that ability comes from silently observing what’s going on in the crowd, whether people are singing or dancing or grinding or arguing or crying or what. One particularly satisfying outcome of DJing is that I now see how hilarious parties look from the fly’s vantage point.

Imagine having a stationary camera set on a party for about 2.5-3 hours. Basically a feature length movie of dozens of girls dancing in girl circles, guys awkwardly creeping up behind them and getting rejected, that one friend thats way too wasted in the corner getting support from her biffles, that guy trying to subtly smell his pits to see if he’s the source of the funky odor he’s whiffing (even though he’d rather it be him than the girl he’s dancing with), the crew of freshman dudes at the door that are not getting in, the crew of freshman skeezers that are getting in right past them, the douchebag that’s wearing shades and has a completely skewed depth perception, and the one poor soul who wore heels and has no idea what she’s doing in them. Yeah, pretty hilarious sight.

But the only thing that matters is, each one of those people feels absolutely like the shit in that moment. They know that they are the sickest, dopest, most important person on earth (except maybe the freshman guys). And in an atmosphere like these highly competitive, high pressure, if-you-don’t-get-an-A-you-suck-at-existence universities, where so much of our time is spent trying our hardest just to feel like we are good enough, I guess it is worth the sore muscles, awkward textsfromlastnight (or voicemails, FL 😀 ), and horrid hangovers to feel like we’re the shit.

So go get shitty!

-Tra

*PS, I start every post with a youtube link to a song that ideally should be played while reading, so yeah, click ’em.