Stay with Me, Let’s Just Breathe.

March 28, 2010

I don’t want to go to church and pretend I’m religious and ask the priest man why he gave me a palm leaf and have him keep raving about my shoes. I don’t want to read my biology textbook for “fun” on weekends. I don’t care about the alternation of generations in angiosperms and how it’s so “special.” I don’t want to read Warhol’s boring diary. He’s annoying. I don’t want to visit the zoo to do a lab when there are no animals there. I don’t want to cut up a fetal pig or starfish or crayfish and peel out its guts. I don’t want to make speeches, especially on stupid topics. And I sure as hell don’t want to take courses all summer and catch caterpillars for research all alone in DC.

This semester is no fun because I don’t look forward to any class. Last semester I liked/could at least tolerate all of my classes. I know I won’t like next semester either if I double up on sciences, do shifts at the hospital and take a comm theory course. I’m not liking any comm courses either…so maybe I shouldn’t major in it. I also feel like I always need an english course to balance things out, but I definitely don’t want to major in that. I’m never going to figure out what I want so I’m going to end up stuck with what I have. Sad thought.

I just want to read my Vonnegut and Better by Atul Gawande (and kind of wish I had some math to do).

Yup. This is the type of post you get when I’ve been in the library since 2pm and know that I won’t be out until I see the sun set and rise again.

YAY FOR BIOLOGY and toasty libraries that dry out my contacts. I took honors bio last year… Swear to god I was never taught a thing that I’m learning now in that class.

I also do this thing when I’m nervous where I check up on all my grades and calculate the exact scores I need so that I can get an A overall… and I just did that and I basically need an 95+ on every assignment I get for the rest of the year to make that happen (which is only about 2 or 3 for each class). I’m queasy. I don’t like. The sucky thing about college is that your grade is based off of about 3 or 4 tests. I screwed up this semester and now I’m playing catch up. College has made me neurotic.

Here’s a song that I just discovered. I like. This version replaced one of its verses with a verse from a missy elliot song (the parts about money and clothes)… weird haha. I thought I liked it but I think I like the original verse better.

kbyeeeeeeeeee. work time/ look at this cute salamander!Su

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