Funny People

March 25, 2010

Many funny things happen to me daily. They are not funny to me. To name a few:

1) I was about to go to bed one night in Anguilla last week and I placed my TWO WEEK OLD Mac on the floor next to my bed. I thought this would be a bad idea, but I was lazy, and thought that the worst that could happen is a bug crawling into it or something and attacking me the next day (thank god that didn’t!!). So I looked at the Bose radio clock next to me to check the time, then went to bed. This is the one night where I went to sleep without any trouble (I usually lie there for a while before I could pass out). However, around 3AM or so, something magical happened. A CD (where did this come from?!?!) inside of Mr. Bose, the radio crazy 3-in-1 contraption, ejected and hit a glass (I remember thinking that it weird that a random glass was on the nightstand), which tumbled off and woke me up. Annoying. I woke up in the morning to find a lovely dent on the top of my new computer. I was angry and very confused, but mostly angry. The fact that I was to blame for the poor placement of my computer makes me even more angry. I found out that the only way to eject the CD is with this little button on a little controller which was all the way on the other side of the mean machine. Maybe some little heavy bug was a bitch and stepped on it or something.

2) The next day, I had to hang out with my cousins (of course) and their friends. They’re all younger than me and they wanted to go on the banana boat (and I really did too secretly). So, we went. Long story short, we all flipped off in the middle of the ocean, you know, where the water gets really dark and scary indicating there is life beneath you.  I got kicked in the nose on the way down and I actually thought my nose was broken because the sides were bruised the next day. Then the current started pulling me away from everyone no matter how hard I tried swimming, so I gave up and floated away for a bit. Then I was rescued and was given the option to sit on the actual boat, but I chose to get back on the banana boat, naturally. The second time seemed to go pretty smoothly, until we suddenly flipped again… This time, I felt as though some giant picked me up by the head and just smashed it full force into concrete. Well, I was forever dizzy for a few days and had a large bump on my head which still sort of hurts. I would check it out, but I am lazy… and you know where laziness gets me. Oh, and supposedly it’s rare that people flip off the banana… BS.

3) Things were going really well for once today. I woke up at 4:30, did my paper half dead (but I really liked writing it, weird), showered at 8:30 and got to my 9:30 class. Perfect. After class, I finished editing my paper and did another mini essay for my next class. Got to my next class on time, took great notes. Excellent. 1:35, out of class. Got to the library and read over my paper for the last time, perfect. 20 minutes before class, I find out that I don’t have internet for some whatever freak reason the universe hates me and feel a little woozy because I can’t email the paper to myself to print it out. I work on that for 10 minutes, finally worked. I go to the computer library to print. The computer crashes on me. Then I get it to work and I find out all the printers in the library just malfunctioned and died. Now, this teacher for my next class that was going to start in 10 minutes from then is very anal about punctuality and my dorm is 10 minutes from the library. So I was mad late and was speed walking to class all nervous when this stupid green peace annoying advocate lady who stands on the street with those paper clippy boards approached me and I literally freaked and yelled NO! I’M TOO LATE in her face. I feel like a bad person now. I want to apologize. I’m not that mean. After a good class though, I was crossing a street while heading back to my dorm, when the wind decided to blow around the nasties on the apparently dirty streets of DC directly into my eyes. It literally felt as though someone threw a handful of sand in my face. I looked like a cripple blind lady crossing the street and I couldn’t see clearly for the next 2 blocks… Matthew… I don’t like crazy eyes. I’m going to stop my day there. I refuse.

I’m not even going to get into my Tuesday. Tra already knows about/ it’s too  embarassing and unfortunate.

A little tidbit about me: I like funny people, but I don’t like funny people. Get it? No, you probably don’t. I’m not implying any self-hatred here.



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