Paging Doctor Fa….

February 28, 2010

“And you know you’re never sure
but you’re sure you could be right
if you held yourself put to the light.”
– Smashing Pumpkins

So a while ago, sweet sweet Mulpskis asked me to write a post. A serious post. A post about what I see myself doing in the future. Man, now doesn’t that sound like one of those dreadful, tedious college supplement questions? In fact, it is. So perhaps in writing this post, I’ll have a clearer idea of what I would write for my answer. Talk about killing two birds with one cute shiny pebble.

My future. Well, considering that I’m a pre-med student, I should want to be a doctor, right? Funny thing is, I don’t know if I want to be, but I’m going to try to be one. A dermatologist to be exact, but don’t hold me to that. I also think I’m going to major in Communications and minor in Chemistry or Anthropology. If all else fails, I can go into PR. That’s what I really want to do, but not really.

So, do you understand? No? Well, that’s because I don’t either. Let me give it another shot:

I want to be a doctor for all the wrong reasons. School until I’m thirty? Cutthroat competition? Long nights of crying? Waste of my youth? I don’t care. All I care about is the security, the set salary at the end of the long, long road. I’m also dead scared of not going to school anymore after college. I need school. I don’t know anything else. I guess I’m going to blame it on the way I was brought up. Financial success, not happiness, has been the goal drilled into my head as far back as I can remember. I still consider happiness to be my top priority, but monetary gain is a close second. I’ve always been afraid to admit that because people automatically transform me into some superficial, unworthy bitch (pardon) in their minds. I’m not selfish. I’m not conniving. I’m going to work for it.

Wait, what? I should grow a spine and do what I actually want to do? Yeah… no.

The fact is, there is nothing that I am passionate about. I mean, Chemistry really excites me, but come on now. I’d rather be in a room full of balloons than be a chemist. So my passionless life just encourages my decision because, well, what else am I going to do?

So in my future (let’s talk thirties (yes, the whole ten years)), if everything goes well, I see myself finishing my last years of residency and starting my own clinic, hopefully already married to some dude, and with a kid or two. I’m a pretty traditional chicka. I can’t wait to get married. I want children (two). I’m going to have a place in the city, but also a cute suburban house near the city, where it’s appropriate for my kids to grow up. I’m going to be part of a cute country club and travel a lot. My kitchen’s going to huge and stocked all the time. My family is going to be perfect.

Basically, I want to be a wasp.. maybe? Haha, oh dreams.

Did that make more sense? Kind of? Here goes my last shot:

There isn’t much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
But with a little girl, and by my spouse,
I only want a proper house

I don’t care for fancy things [<– partially true]
Or to take part in the freshest wave,
But to provide for mine who ask
I will, with heart, on my father’s grave

On my father’s grave
On your father’s grave

I don’t mean to seem like I
Care about material things,
Like a social status,
I just want
Four walls and adobe slabs
For my girls

So there you go. I just want to be able to provide for myself and my family and even my friends. Jesus, I’m never going to get into the schools if I answer like that.

On a whole other note, I just found out if I do stay here next year, I have a SWEET living arrangement. I was going to have an (in my opinion) even better arrangement, but my roommates overruled my decision. So I would have a triple. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen, huge closets, laundry machines in the room, and a living room… and my roommates said I can be the one who has the single room and bathroom. So, it’d be like having the most amazing single ever. Oh, and there’s a spa, Starbucks, and Subway downstairs. I’m personally most excited about the subway. I’m going to be kind of upset if I leave now.

A little tidbit about me: I love going out to dinner. Let’s go out to dinner.

Dr. Suess

(I know that’s not how you spell his name).

2 Responses to “Paging Doctor Fa….”

  1. Ebarts said

    I’d rather be in a room full of balloons than be a chemist.
    I’m going to make that a saying.

    “you wanna go see avatar?”
    “no way dude, I’d rather be in a room full of goddamn BALLOONS.”

  2. Tra said

    Milton made us all want to be wasps. They all had perfect lives!

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